Adoption Challenges...

We have been calling the state Child Services to see about adopting since last November. We were told that we would be able to attend the next STARS class, a requirement to adopt, this Spring. We were also told that because we had more than 4 children in the house we were ineligible to foster, which was fine with us. Spring came, with no phone call. So we called. And called. And called. And called.

Then we got a LETTER. The letter said that in order to use the $ they have to their greatest advantage was to invest it towards to parents who would be attending the STARS program in order to become foster parents. They, at this time, due to the funding shortage, would be moving our name to the bottom of the list indefinitely.


So I called... I'm persistent. I spoke with the circuit manager of our county. She said that in behooved their system to do it this way. I asked her, did she realize that we are interested in an older child? Didn't matter. Did she realize that having adoptive parents go through the class would alleviate the states responsibility of financially funding a child, or sibling group, while funding the foster couple would continue to cost the state money year after year. I kid you know, she said, "Well, I've never thought of it from the prospective parent's point of view before." I asked her if there was a reason we weren't told this last winter when we voiced our interest? She declined to answer and responded by repeating later there may be a spot opening up in the class. There was no time outlined, though she did say that the next three 7 weeks classes were scheduled to be full.

I happened upon a mother of 5 at the park that day... who is going to this class later this June. She began calling last month. She is interested in an infant. They wanted at first to just adopt, but were told that if they opted to foster they would get into the class sooner. They did, and they did. I'm happy for them! Said new friend also agreed that getting information from this office was next to impossible.

So what did I do? As before, when this office failed to give me adequate information I began calling other circuits. I called around to see if we could attend a class in a different county. I spoke with a substitute circuit manager... who said that yes of course that would be possible and wasn't my circuit manager putting us on that list? I didn't think so as it wasn't mentioned at all. This woman became very frosty and began questioning me a lot. I answered, in the hopes of finding out some new info only to find out that is woman was my county's circuit manager's supervisor. She then explained how this phone call deeply concerned her, as her underlings (my word choice) were trained thoroughly. Then she told me how my circuit manager would be calling me soon. She was very displeased.

I was embarrassed and said so. I was sorry for getting the other woman in trouble... thinking that I probably ruined our chances of getting to adopt at all now. I apologized, then agonized about it for the rest of the day.

This happened 2 weeks ago... and have I received said phone call? Nope. Was I rude? It shouldn't matter, but NOPE! I was polite, concise, and respectful every time. But I have received no phone call. Not even a letter.

So.... What do I do now??? Ideas? Have I ruined our chances at adopting? Suggestions?